i think i'm mostly irritated because i feel like i don't have a style in my artwork that can easily be identified from other people's artwork. Like if i was browsing through the people i'm watching there are several i can tell this particular artist drew from another, then there are those that get meshed together because of the same style. I dunno...at this point i was hoping my artwork would evolve enough to where i had improved on coloring or inking....i dunno, i feel at a standstill.


anyway aside from that rant, i'm going to try a raw food diet, might cheat a little, but im going to eat fruits, vegetables, grains and nuts all raw, not cooked...no additives etc. I might throw a little meat in there every so often since i'm already pretty thin...but this is for my digestive health. Living off of Ramen Noodles or little Chow Meins or Michelina frozen dinners has been hurting my bowels and not helping me at all. It sucks though since fruit and veggies are a bit more expensive then 89 cent dinners....but i'm gonna try hard because i'm tired of all the pain.

well i hope this year is way better than last year, 2009 had a few ups...but it was mostly downs for me. So i hope 2010 overcompensates for last years suckage.

My resolutions:

1. Be a better Girlfriend.

2. Get a better job.

3. Show up at the job i have right now as best i can even when my stomach throws a fit.

4. Get better and stop being sick.

5. Stop being poor.

6. Get in shape.

7. Eat healthier and not live on frozen dinners and leftovers.

8. Finish commissions faster.

9. Stop putting things off for later.

10. Actually get out more and do more.

11. Become a better artist...and an even better person.


Jax is asleep under the pillows on my bed. weirdo

and i already miss them. I wish they had stayed longer, but they've been busy with jams and homeschooling, work, and bluegrass conventions. I am sad they left, but it was good they came.

I have a new bed though, and i'm super happy...it's so big! When Garrison and I slept on it we realized we have to roll over several times to actually reach each other, which is amazing considering we've only been sleeping on twin/single sized beds. It's really awesome! i've also never been so grateful to have a dresser again, that is until i've used a closet and a suitcase for clothes and undergarments. I have all my movies and games and paints and old artwork and action figures and Clothes! I am so happy, even though it's not all my stuff, my paintings as well as reference books and other things were still left behind ): oh well, i'll get them another time.

Garrison and his family love my family, and i'm really happy. It's funny how alike our family's are, weird really. But i was a little nervous if they would get along or not....The way i grew up Family is one of the most important things so when people don't get along i get upset easily. Thankfully no one was unhappy. Though my little brother had some things that were hilarious, he's 11 almost 12 and he still thinks like a 5 year old.
"I'm adaptable.... I can do city... country... forest...."

Martha: "You wanna try some gator?"
JT: " Wow! Did ya catch it by hand?"

"Isn't soccer mostly for gay people?"...

Garrison: "well Gainesville's pretty nice, but a lot of the drivers are pretty stupid."
JT: "Why... i dununderstand, how come we can't hit women?"

just a small sample of how my little brother's mind works.

Anyway just fun overall.

ugh finally, my parents are coming to visit and bringing the rest of my furniture as well as stuff. No more sleeping on a crappy air mattress for me!!! Man, im really excited, a bit nervous, but really excited ^^

Garrison is uber excited as well, he's been wanting to meet my parents for some time now and is overall thrilled. His parents are really happy too.

Ugh, this is gonna be nice <3

oh and for xmas we got Office Season 5 on Blue Ray and money and gift cards to subway and movies :3 Garrison's parents we're so sweet to do that for us. My parents sent money which im going to use for rent and utilities...maybe a book if i have enough left over.

so for the next few days until Tuesday i won't be doing commissions or badges since i'll be busy cleaning house for the parents and also busy moving furniture in and hanging with the fam, yay! so happy ^^

in the spirit of survival i present you now two male headbangers in their un-natural habitat.



the guy with the oar makes me think of a lizard doing territorial head bobs.

Went and saw Avatar tonight and HOMG! that movie....i want to be a giant blue cat person thing now D8

That movie was amazing in 3D even though i didn't see it in IMAX, which i bet is even more mind blowing, but man does that movie draw you out.
At some points i forgot i was looking at CGI, gah it was just breath taking. The fact that James Cameron took the novel and made it better than what everyone was making a big hype about it, it was just awesome.

The movie is done like "Dances with Wolves" or like "The Last Samurai" but done very very well.

I love movies that also make their own species and habitats and ugh, it's so amazing how they did everything!

Best movie of the Year, Best 3D movie ever.... <3

GO SEE IT NOW!!!!

Borrowed from dendril

1.What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
graduated college, and moved out of the house for the first time, had my gallbladder taken out

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
somewhat, i wasn't planning on loosing alot of weight so quickly with my gallbladder problems, but i did graduate and move out...i might make some new ones.

3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
not this year

4.Did anyone close to you die?
thankfully no

5.What countries did you visit?
none this year sadly ):

6.What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
better job, more money security, my stuff from home, stuff to actually do in my free time besides computer and video games

7.What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I can't remember most specific days. It was a pretty mundane year, and my life usually is.

8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
graduating college, and moving out

9. What was your biggest failure?
lacking a good job and getting sick

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
yes, had my gallbladder removed and now im dealing with stomach issues

11. What was the best thing you bought?
food and gas and a house(well rented) <3

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
none that i know of

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my older brother somewhat and my bf's room mate

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, moving, food and gas

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
moving out and closer to Garrison and going to Furry Fiesta and taking Bean to his first furry con.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
probably Tonight by the Black Eyed Peas


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? in between

b) thinner or fatter? much thinner

c) richer or poorer? poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
art, working, getting better, saving money earlier

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
get sick and worry about every little thing

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
probably with Garrison's family down in Tampa with his older brother, and also spending time with Garrison.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
lol i was already in love <3

22. How many one-night stands?
none

23. What was your favorite TV program?
probably Flap Jack or Chowder, sat down and watched it with my little brother, but i didn't watch much TV....oh and maybe some adult swim.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
i really don't hate people, but i really disliked my bf's room mates behavior and the new girls he brings home almost every night.

25. What was the best book you read?
didn't really read a whole lot...i think the only thing i read was "Final Exits the illustrated encyclopedia on how we die" interesting book non the less.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mogwai, Toy Grenades, Owl City and several other bands that Garrison introduced to me

27. What did you want and get?
my stuff from Amarillo ): i miss my art supplies

28. What did you want and not get?
My stuff from Amarillo D:

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
probably Where the Wild Things are, A Serious Man, and hopefully Avatar if we get to see it.

30. What did you do on your birthday?
have a steak dinner with my family and also a birthday celebration with Izzy and Bean(since there b-day's are all in the same month) before hand.

31.What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
getting a good paying job sooner and not being sick

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
comfortable, tomboyish, nothing but jeans

33. What kept you sane?
talking to Garrison for encouragement

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
none

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
i dunno

36. Who did you miss?
friends and family and my dog, moved 14,000 miles from everyone i knew to be with Garrison

37. Who was the best new person you met?
everyone...but i already knew them

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
never worry about anything, it will all eventually come through in the end.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This is a start
that I know I'll believe in
so I'm leavin' everything behind
Keeping the parts
that I know I'll be needing
and I breed to be a better kind
And I'm leavin' everyone behind

This is the age
when my past should be gone
but it's just stronger than the aims I have
Turning the pages
I used to hang on to
I was young and I have changed my mind
And I'm leaving everything behind

New beginning again
a bit closer
new beginning again
a little bit closer
New beginning again
a bit closer to the end

This is the time
it's a delicate line
to the beginning of what's yet to come
Lifetimes of changes
a strange generation
explanations never come in time
So I'm leavin' everything behind

i just remembered....i have work in 3 and a half hours.

holy mother of GOD WHY!?!?!?!

it's almost 4am...and im still awake.

this headache will not leave...and taking Excedrin probably isn't helping me pass out.

FUCK! why is it something that is the only thing that helps rid me of pain can also keep me from sleep?!


why does humanity have to be so confusing and full of irony!?!?!?!

FUCK YOU MAN MADE PAIN KILLERS!!!

D8<

SLEEP DEPRIVATION DHDHJDGFUGFDGFhjDFgSDHSFGLSDJFHBGSDJFHgLJSDH!!!!!!!

forgot to add one more thing to the wishlist.




9. Tickets and Gas for Garrison to see Avatar at the Imax in Tampa.


now to sit down with a cup of coffee and watch Uncle Buck.

After going to the ER awhile back i've been dealing with on and off severe abdominal pain and missing work because of it. I have bills i need to pay, as well as rent and utilities. Garrison has been an amazing person, but he's been feeling the weight of supporting himself and me all at once and it's not helping.

Thankfully we have a friend whose a male nurse and another one who is a doctor, their both going to get together and help me out on figuring out if I have H. Pylori and if it's the thing causing all this pain that has been literally causing me pain to the point im doubled over on the floor in pain and gasping for breath because it hurts to breath.

In the mean time while im home i've been looking for a better job that pays better, this one is barely helping me make rent and utilities and missing days because of the pain doesn't help. It also sucks that i'll be off work for the holidays from the 24th to the 4th and i cannot afford to miss that much....it's nice, yes, but when your barely making enough to support yourself, it really doesn't help.

Btw to everyone who has been commissioning badges, thank you so much, it really means alot and it helps me out alot as well.

I'm also having trouble getting my parents to come here, not only to bring my stuff, but to meet Garrison as well. Even though they probably aren't trying to avoid coming, i still feel like they don't even want to come...like they want to just give me my stuff and set me on my way again. It really hurts, like they're ignoring me.

Aside from all that, im hoping things will start looking better.


Oh and a question for anyone who does TAXIDERMY.
When doing an Acid bath for a skin, i know you need Un-Iodized Salt, water....but im not sure what else. I can't afford to order anything online like the Saftee Acid and what not. Im going to be tanning an o'possum fur and i cannot remember what the PH balance of the Acid bath needs to be and what else i need for it. If anyone knows, please tell me.

Step One

- Make a post (public, friends locked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two

- Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special!

( Wish List )

If your reading my journal, awesome...then i have not lost contact with you. I was going to work on commissions yesterday and today when i was home sick as well as mail out badges(which i didn't think ahead and get the addresses written down, im really sorry), but with FA having been disconnected i can do nothing.

im really sorry about the delays on mailing out as well as working on commissions. ):

so im working on commissions to wear myself out.

good thanksgiving though, my tummy has never been this full and im very content with the state of satisfaction im in. It was nice to just hang with Garrison's family, sit around, drink some wine(did not upset my stomach surprisingly), hung with his older brother, talked, ate lot of food and napped on the couch. Just a nice chill day to kinda let all my worries sit in the back seat of the brain until tomorrow.

i needed a nice relaxing day for once.

I owe the State of Texas $1,155.01 ....because i supposedly didn't file a tax/fee which i had no taxes i collected from the convention i went to. That was the only reason i had the tax license.


i don't know how im going to get the money...if i don't pay before 12/10/2009 an additional 10% penalty of $105.01 will be added on.


im hardly staying alive and paying rent here....i don't know what im going to do.

If i make the next two days of work i'll have $275 and that's after i take out the $82 for utilities, If i make $20 i'll only be $8 short of rent. Im hoping i can make enough to make rent without having to have Garrison help me out, though i appreciate all of his help...every little bit i do, even though i whine and feel bad about having him help me out.

I want to have the plasma center as my last resort for getting the money i need for rent.

gonna try to do some quick and easy badges to make up for the missing money i need....they won't be laminated since i can't afford it and i don't have my laminator here.

Might get a better job at this RTI place, pays better, better benefits, and im not going to get robbed from them like i am from TempForce.

wooo

im working on this little thing of mine and was looking for some critique on the cloth or the scenery or the characters themselves. I wanted to make Samson huge, but he turned out real small anyway...whatever. Anyway Samson is a Draft Horse and Delilah is a Bongo Antelope. Some things like probably the braids or the poses are off, i dunno...i was doing the whole thing from memory no reference so i can expect a few problems from this.

This is based off of the song not the actual bible story so a few things are a little off...but i just wanted an overall idea of what i need to improve on in the image to make it good before i work on finishing it.

this song is almost making me cry. Why i don't know, but there is alot of emotion in this song even though she's singing about a Biblical story about Samson and Delilah.




im drawing a picture though that's inspired by this song. So Far it's looking really good....and this song...im listening to over and over again.

Thanks airukitsu for reintroducing me to Regina Spektor!

ugh i really hope i get a call back from somewhere, it's nearly thanksgiving and soon christmas...someone would have an opening somewhere...i hope.
I dropped off my resume at Pangaea Pets(reptile store where we get our mice) and thankfully the guy i get along with was in there. He looked over my resume and we talked a bit about my past taxidermy job. Im hoping he'll put in a good word for me....i think i have way more experience with reptiles and amphibians than the guy their having issues with right now.

im still dealing with stomach pain and my crappy job doesn't help. Today was nice...until it felt like someone punched me in the gut and i started having hot flashes. I had to leave work early, but i got in 5 hours...im trying super hard not to miss any this week so i can make rent and utilities. Garrison is taking care of my gas and food. We've been switching back and forth on who buys food and gas.
I also have been staying over at his house since it's 1. closer to work 2. we can feed each other and get each other gas easier 3. it's cheaper on my rent since there is no one using water and what not 4. it's easier to have one or the other to take care of when one is sick(or like me having stomach pain). So far it's been going smoothly, we've had our rough ends, but it's mostly just getting used to being around each other all the time.

I went to "Mother Earth"(a vegan/health food store) and got some cabbage juice for my ulcer(so nasty) and HCL for my acid reflux....so far the HCL has been doing 10x better than the over the counter drugs i get recommended from doctors, my NAET doctor suggested the HCL and it's way nicer. Hopefully it'll kill the stomach acid enough that it'll let the cabbage juice work it's magic. But all i can say is that i had a nap and when i woke up i hardly had the nasty acid taste in my mouth and my stomach didn't feel like it was rotting. It was amazing! So anyone with acid reflux get an HCL vitamin....and it you have an Ulcer get some fresh cabbage juice!

Also parents are mailing me warm clothes and jackets! yay! im a little sad they won't be coming Thanksgiving weekend, but im at least im getting warmth.